What a wonderful feeling was to be reborn under nice, sunny and warm Egyptian sky. Egypt was a great land covered by seas of sand and almost no water at all, which was good to forget Noah and his sour face when he came to Turkey and realized that his business empire has collapsed. He was standing on the coast, waiting for his faithful clients, but no one left alive.
- " I'm ruined" - he said - " My entire life is ruined. What will I do now?"
He covered his face by the hands started to cry.
- "Oh god, you've tricked me" - he yelled. - " I'll be nice to you, I'll do whatever you want me to, just spare me from agriculture."
God did not reply, no matter how hard Noah called.
And then in Egypt the life seemed to be fine. I could eat, I could piss or even make a dump, wherever I want, not obligated to eat my own shit. And after all I had a new master.
He was a really nice and righteous guy, adopted as a child by the royal family, walked proud in his innocence and purity. His name was Moses.
One day his perfect life came to a curve. Moses and me, we were walking down the palace and came to an open door. We've heard some very strange noises.
Moses looked in and saw a very harmful scene. A naked man was lying on the floor, cuffed by leather ribbons with some piece of wood stacked in his mouth, and the other guy was beating him with a lash all over his bloody back.
- "Stop beating that guy" - Moses said, - " or I'm going to beat you."
- "Oh, it is not what it seems to be" - the guy replied. - " You can join us if you want, and you'll feel the joy of our little game. Just leave your dog outside. We're not some kind of perverts. We don't like the dogs involved."
- " You can take my place, or his, or you can even watch if you want. It's equal to me."
- "Stop abusing that man" - Moses said louder.
Then Moses attacked guy with the lash.
-"I've told you to stop" - Moses yelled, and started to push the guy, who has fallen hitting the wall by his head.
Tied guy was just mumbling something, but no one paid attention to him, but the other one was lying on the floor dead.
Finally, we liberated the victim, but, what a surprise, he did not thank us. He started to hug the dead man, and he cried.
-"You are a criminal, assassin, you killed him... "
Both, Moses and me, we looked at each other confused and walked away. Whole day we've spent wondering what happened. Moses saved a man, and that seemed to be wrong. He realized the reason much later.
Very next day Moses will run into an incident again. Two men were fighting and he tried to make peace between two Hebrews, who are fighting, but the aggressor takes umbrage and says:
-"Do you mean to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?"
Moses immediately understood that he was in danger, for though his high status undoubtedly would protect him from punishment for the murder.
Then he heard The Voice.
-" Chill out Moses" - the voice sad - " I have some great plans for you"
Moses was standing petrified and speechless.
-"I'm going to protect you, but first there's one thing you have to do..."
- "Oh, God" - Moses cried -"Please forgive me my lord, I'll do whatever you ask, just forgive me"
- " Well then, all you have to do is take an anger management course, and then we shall talk."
Next morning Moses have fled to Midian from the Pharaoh's anger, and there he had to meet the Midianite priest Reuel, also known as Jethro, the originator of "Jethro Tull", the rock band, and the most popular therapist at that time.
- " I'm ruined" - he said - " My entire life is ruined. What will I do now?"
He covered his face by the hands started to cry.
- "Oh god, you've tricked me" - he yelled. - " I'll be nice to you, I'll do whatever you want me to, just spare me from agriculture."
God did not reply, no matter how hard Noah called.
And then in Egypt the life seemed to be fine. I could eat, I could piss or even make a dump, wherever I want, not obligated to eat my own shit. And after all I had a new master.
He was a really nice and righteous guy, adopted as a child by the royal family, walked proud in his innocence and purity. His name was Moses.
One day his perfect life came to a curve. Moses and me, we were walking down the palace and came to an open door. We've heard some very strange noises.
Moses looked in and saw a very harmful scene. A naked man was lying on the floor, cuffed by leather ribbons with some piece of wood stacked in his mouth, and the other guy was beating him with a lash all over his bloody back.
- "Stop beating that guy" - Moses said, - " or I'm going to beat you."
- "Oh, it is not what it seems to be" - the guy replied. - " You can join us if you want, and you'll feel the joy of our little game. Just leave your dog outside. We're not some kind of perverts. We don't like the dogs involved."
- " You can take my place, or his, or you can even watch if you want. It's equal to me."
- "Stop abusing that man" - Moses said louder.
Then Moses attacked guy with the lash.
-"I've told you to stop" - Moses yelled, and started to push the guy, who has fallen hitting the wall by his head.
Tied guy was just mumbling something, but no one paid attention to him, but the other one was lying on the floor dead.
Finally, we liberated the victim, but, what a surprise, he did not thank us. He started to hug the dead man, and he cried.
-"You are a criminal, assassin, you killed him... "
Both, Moses and me, we looked at each other confused and walked away. Whole day we've spent wondering what happened. Moses saved a man, and that seemed to be wrong. He realized the reason much later.
Very next day Moses will run into an incident again. Two men were fighting and he tried to make peace between two Hebrews, who are fighting, but the aggressor takes umbrage and says:
-"Do you mean to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?"
Moses immediately understood that he was in danger, for though his high status undoubtedly would protect him from punishment for the murder.
Then he heard The Voice.
-" Chill out Moses" - the voice sad - " I have some great plans for you"
Moses was standing petrified and speechless.
-"I'm going to protect you, but first there's one thing you have to do..."
- "Oh, God" - Moses cried -"Please forgive me my lord, I'll do whatever you ask, just forgive me"
- " Well then, all you have to do is take an anger management course, and then we shall talk."
Next morning Moses have fled to Midian from the Pharaoh's anger, and there he had to meet the Midianite priest Reuel, also known as Jethro, the originator of "Jethro Tull", the rock band, and the most popular therapist at that time.
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