Let's see how it's all started.It was an easy day in Paradise. God was running his business in all the universes he made, and Mrs. God was cooking the dinner. (Pssst, Don't tell anybody that God was married. That is the biggest secret ever, and with a good reason.)
- Do you plan to spend the whole day reading your mail and watching your freakin' reality shows - she said - There's too much work around the house. I can't do it all by myself.
- Wait a second dear - God replied, - I just have to send few floods and earthquakes to some worlds, and I'll help you right after.
- The floods can wait, you lazy bastard, but if you want to eat potatoes for dinner you have to dig 'em out of the ground.
- Why do we have to eat potatoes every day? You can't cook anything else? I'd rather like to have some beans instead.
- Beans!? Oh, no...no,no! I don't want to listen your farting all day long. Last time your farts have melted whole paint down from the walls.
Then God has left the house.
- Damn potatoes! - God was angry - Damn my wife as well! How did I come up with the idea to create myself a wife.
Then he took a piece of ground and threw it away in anger. The ground was rolling through the space becoming a nice little planet.
- Oh, shit...shit! Now I've made another world to take care of... How stupid I am! This is not my day . I don't need that crap! I resign! That moment something crossed his mind.
- Hmmmm...Or maybe... Maybe I can create a world just for myself. A world far away from my wife, far away from all the crying people whose mails I'm receiving, far away from potatoes... Place populated only by the animals and pets, where I can plant fields of beans and fart my soul out.
And it was so...
The rest of story is classic.
First God made heaven & earth. And then he said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. And there was evening and there was morning, one day. Then God made the firmament and separated the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. And it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day. And God said, "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a third day.And God made the two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night; he made the stars also. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day. So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day. And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
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